Today marks 3 weeks that I have had the flu – the worst flu that I have ever known. It has just started to leave my body, but the lungs are still sore and weak. I ran myself down with months of stress that culminated with trying to make the perfect Christmas for Lennie, who is Jewish and has never enjoyed Christmas the way it was meant to be. Last year we celebrated here on the 18th of December as he had committed to one of his married daughters to spend the holiday at her house. And our December 18th Christmas was perfect. It was quiet and full of love. It would be 8 more months before we found out that Lennie had cancer, but at that moment in time all was right with our world. What is it about Christmas that makes so many people drive themselves almost crazy striving for the ‘perfect Christmas’? Running from store to store to buy the ‘perfect’ gift or the ‘perfect’ ornaments or even the ‘perfect’ wrapping paper for whatever theme this year’s Christmas has evoked. I have lived most of my adult life alone, which does not mean that I was lonely. I had my pets and my friends to lavish the joys of the season on. I like to think that most of my Christmases were perfect; they were quiet and peaceful and full of love and happiness as I celebrated the season with my pets. There was no frenzy and each gift was carefully wrapped and decorated with whatever bells, ribbons or fresh greenery I had around. They did not have to match and each gift became in itself a work of art just in the wrapping. I spent Christmas Eve driving around to each friends house, dropping off their gift and listening in my travels to ‘A Paul Reed Christmas on 900 CHML radio’. On Christmas Day we did not care what time we got up or what time we ate. Chaucer would open his little gifts of wrapped dog biscuits and stuffed toys himself and the paper stayed on the floor. If I had to choose a carol to describe Christmas at our house it would be “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. So what happened this year; this year that Lennie was coming to spend Christmas with Chaucer and Catya and I? This was the Christmas that was going to be perfect; and it started out that way…..
…..The clock on the dashboard read 1:45 as I drove to Pearson International Airport. Chaucer kept watch from his vantage point in the rear window. It was December 20 and we were on our way to pick up Lennie. Christmas carols played on the radio and I knew the feeling of “Driving Home for Christmas with a thousand memories.” We were just on time.
When I saw Lennie at the arrival gate I was shocked to see him looking so tired with a tinge of jaundice. He was cold – he had been cold the entire two weeks that he had been in Florida, visiting his daughters. He had landed there during the cold snap in the Southern US with temperatures in the 20s and 30s Fahrenheit. I gave him his Christmas present as soon as he got into the car: boots that heated up. Finally his feet would be warm. We happily drove home and he slept for the first 24 hours. The next day he just wanted to stay indoors and relax. But it was only 3 days ’till Christmas Eve; I had plans. What about Christmas shopping and I had saved some of the decorations to put up so that he could help. He didn’t want to do any of that. I had put all of this off and now there was only 3 days left and I had to do it all myself.
The previous 2 weeks had been stressful enough; a bathtub leak turned into a complete bathroom demolition. Nothing had been draped off and when I walked in there were clouds of 80 year old mortar dust everywhere. I finally had a cleaning crew come in and clean and dust literally everything; even the Christmas tree had to be vacuumed! My sister brought over her air purifiers which I ran 24/7 along with my own. I wasn’t going to take any chances with Lennie’s compromised health. So it was with anger that I confronted him when he told me that he had not been taking much of his medication while he was in Florida and was also eating out – all the things that he should not have. Our ‘perfect Christmas’ had started with a fight.
Of course we made up and on the 23rd we headed into NEX Health in Burlington for some IV vitamin C therapy which is usually tiring, but Lennie felt pretty good afterwards. This took up almost 3 hours; 3 hours that I needed. Next we went out to do some shopping and get groceries for the 7 people that would now be at our place for dinner on Christmas Day. There were no fresh turkeys, never mind organic ones. Longos was out of them – one of the managers said that they ran out early in the morning. Fortinos had only 1 left the night before. Reardon’s had no organic birds. Finally I phoned the meat manager at the Dundurn Fortinos who said that there had been 5 cases of fresh, organic turkeys that had been forgotten to be put out and there were 6 birds left. He put my name on one as we raced to the store. I had now turned into one of these crazy, stressed out women who was trying to make the ‘perfect’ holiday. It shouldn’t have surprised me that the stress of the past several months caught up with me and my usually good immune system was now comprimised. Boxing Day I was tired, the 27th I didn’t feel good and on the morning of the 28th I woke up feeling like a truck had hit me.
Lennie had recovered from his jet lag and time zone changes and cold feet and was now the caregiver while I lived, and slept on the sofa. I wore a mask so that he did not get what I had. New Year’s came and went while my temperature soared. Antibiotics don’t help with the flu – it is a virus, so I saw no point in going to the doctor. Instead I went with Len to NEX for some IV vitamin C treatments which helped a lot. I dished out copious amounts of vitamins, minerals and anti-oxidants to Lennie. He started to get a sniffle and a little cough, but it was gone in a couple of days and he was fine.
Have I ever mentioned that Lennie is originally from Rochester? He has a dad, a sister and her family, some aunts, friends and a married daughter with two grandsons. So it was time to travel to Rochester to visit family. It’s cold and we are both feeling less than well. We were bonded with our illnesses and both trying to take care of each other. Most importantly, we were together. We didn’t need the gifts and the trimmings to have a perfect holiday, we just needed each other. We don’t know where we will be next Christmas, but we have already decided that wherever we are we will keep it simple and not be stressed out. I use to describe that elusive ‘perfect Christmas’ as someone who rushed out and bought all the most expensive and most beautiful ornaments that they could find, only to discover that they had forgotten to buy the tree to put them on. Without the foundation of love and commitment the ornaments have nothing to hang from.
I drove Lennie back to the airport this afternoon. We will meet up in Mexico in a couple of weeks for a check up and probably some more treatments. I will tell you the good news of his thermal imaging test in my next blog. And tomorrow I will finaly take down the Christmas tree.
Regards,
Kathryn