The memorial service was planned for 10 a.m. on Sunday morning. I had wanted to wait until next week, but there were family here that had booked flights back to the mainland. It has not been easy planning the service as everyone has had different opinions of what they think Lennie or ‘dad’ would have wanted. In truth all he had asked was that his ashes be scattered over the water off Fort DeRussy Park in Waikiki. I was going to make sure that happened. The rest, they could fight out amongst themselves.
On any typical Sunday it would be a leisurely 20 minute drive to Waikiki, but this week the APEC (Asian, Pacific Environmental Conference) Summit is on. A few nights ago I had been taken out for dinner by a friend of Lennie’s and mine to the Halekulani which is reputed to be the most expensive hotel in Waikiki at about $1,000 per night on their rooms. We speculated that this was the hotel where the Sultan of Brunei was staying as every leader was at a different hotel. It had taken us a $30 cab ride just to go from the Convention Center to the Halekulani. Today did not look any more promising as my friend Debbie and I left together to pick up the food and then head to the service. His ex-wife had ordered the food and had insisted that I pick it up as there was no room in her rental car. I figured, as I headed out, that it had probably not been paid for as Lennie had always said that she was contstantly crying broke. I was right. I paid the $195 for the sandwich platters and fruit trays that she had wanted to order.
We drove up the Pali highway as we usually do to get to Honolulu and there really was not much traffic. And then up ahead as the cars approached the freeway exit at Honolulu the cars stopped. We got off at the exit right beside us and were literally guided straight into the merging traffic of the locals using the side streets and back roads into Waikiki. As we approached Kalaimoku there was nothing ahead of us. The barricades had just been taken down in the minutes preceding as Obama and his motorcade had just passed in the opposite direction and we drove straight through this 4 or 5 lane street almost alone. Turning onto Lewers we found the same thing and pulled into a parking spot for Fort DeRussy Park where the service would be. I knew that Lennie had guided me in as the realitives and friends started calling, saying things such as they have been stuck on H1 for an hour and a half without moving. Others had been stopped at road blocks and had their cars searched – which happened to Lennie’s sister and his dad. So here were Debbie and I, alone in the park at 10 a.m. The ex and his daughters arrived over half an hour later and Lennie’s sister and dad got there in another 15 minutes, being unlucky enough to have been stopped by security in front of the Hawai’ian Hilton and having their car searched. Finally the service started at 12 noon.
I don’t know how I kept my composure without crying at all today. Maybe it was because of the trip here when I knew
that Lennie was guiding me in. A few family members spoke and I reflected on what Lennie had told me many times; he use to say that he “never, ever knew a love like this existed.” While he was taken far too soon, he was in a really good place in his life. He had now known unconditional love and had felt that also for me. It was sort of like a golfer having a great day and then just dropping dead on the course – it might be awful for everyone else, but just how they would want to go. I then played a CD of ‘About You’ by Cecilio and Kapono that you can listen to on YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnxSxYwBvN8 . It described us perfectly and always brought tears to Lennies eyes as they welled up with love for me.
So what could have been awful with the barricades and delays turned out nice although many people phoned saying they had to turn back. After the service we walked down to the water and what seemed to take an eternity while the sisters discussed back and forth how and where to deposit the ashes in the water. After about a half hour Lennie’s friend Jaimie found an barnicle-encrusted surfboard that had long been abandoned and paddled out with Lennie’s sister and two daughters and they scattered the ashes on the water at Waikiki off the shore of Fort DeRussy Park. Those were where some of his fondest memories were and where he, and then he and I, would go to the Bragg exercise class and if Patricia Bragg were in Hawai’i, the 3 of us would go out for lunch after.
Those days of love and laughter are now gone for awile, but I will find strength and warmth in the memories that we made with each other. I am going to be needing his strength as I deal with his daughters and ex-wife over the next few days. But all that plays through my mind right now is the title to another favorite song of Lennies – this one from Elvis – “I’ll Remember You”. …..I will always remember you Lennie Schneider and there will always be a special place for you in my heart that will remain yours alone.
Right now I will stay in Hawai’i for a week or so and watch the family drama unfold. The type of drama that always follows a funeral. The final insult to Lennie was when the sandwiches were put out after the service. He had been brought up Jewish and had never even tasted pork. It was not allowed in our home, our fridge or at any party that we threw. His ex-wife had ordered mixed sandwiches including ham. A ham sandwich – the final insult.
Holding Lennie (his ashes) in my arms one last time.
Goodbye my love,
Kuuipo (hawai’ian for ‘my sweetheart)
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