I was tired and drained as I sat in the Vancouver airport. I was on my way home; home to Hamilton. I was travelling on WestJet – the same route that I had taken that first time almost 3 years ago. It is a bittersweet homecoming as I walked through the terminal, passing the art installations and shops that I had passed once before. I remember the excitement of new love; the anticipation of meeting Lennie for the first time and the joy of planning a life with someone. Now there was an ache in my heart. If I had been shot or stabbed through the heart I would have died. But this pain, as if my heart was cracked in two, was not one that I would die from, no matter how much it hurt.
Lennie and I had always stayed in constant communication while I traveled, making sure that I was okay. But this time I sat there, feeling completely alone. Lennie is gone, his ashes scattered over the blue ocean of Hawai’i and my once deep affection and love for his 29 year old daughter, Malia, shattered by her and the ex-wife’s covert actions as Lennie lay dying.
Life can often seem unjust, but we never know what lies ahead for us. No one could have ever prophesied on February 13, 2009, that the very next day, by serendipitous circumstance I would meet, fall in love with and have 996 days and nights with a man who would become one of the most important people in my life. For all of our trials and tribulations over the past 15 months treating his cancer, and for all of the sorrow and betrayal that I have endured with 2 of Lennie’s daughters and his ex-wife since his passing, I am grateful to God for putting Lennie in my life and I in his. Although our time together was short he was the best time that I ever had.
Thank you Lennie Schneider for giving me the strength and courage to go on. And most of all for giving me your unconditional love. I will not desecrate your memory by floundering in a sea of tears.
I am now back in my old life. The old life that fit me so comfortably. But I am not the same person. I will take the love and the memories and tuck them away in a special place in my heart as I move forward to see what life still holds in its hand for me.
~~~~~~~~
This Saturday, December 10 and Sunday, December 11 I will be hosting
my annual Open House & Sale at my home and studio at 47 Duke St – apt 2 in Hamilton from 12 to 4 p.m. both days. This year it will also be a tribute to Lennie with some photos, memorabilia and Hawai’ian treats. I hope to see you there.
Kathryn
www.kathrynsmith.com
905-528-4197