Trying to stay positive is sometimes hard work.
Today was Lennie’s birthday. He would have been 64. It was one of those melancholy days when I kept thinking back to when he had turned 61. I had only known him for several months and had decided to throw him a party. It was an evening full of fun and friends and singing and laughter. Later that night he had told me that it was the very first birthday party that he had ever had. For some reason that thought made me think about how quickly our lives pass by, one birthday at a time.
Life is too short to hold grudges. I have long ago forgiven Malia. I cannot hate her, partly because I still love her.
If someone has done something to hurt you, here are some points to consider:
- What purpose does hate serve? Hating someone does nothing to harm them. Instead, it festers inside you, creating illness.
- Look at the bigger picture: in an awful time of heartache or crisis, was there something good that happened to you? Were there people that showed you that they truly cared?
- Be gentle with yourself. You need time to heal. Do as much as you need to. Eat well. Rest. Try to surround yourself with the all the beauty that the world has to offer.
- Don’t involve others. As Iyanla Vanzant says, “Change your story.” Your story is not about the bad that was done to you; those are just the facts and the facts are not your authentic story. So don’t let someone else’s malice take away from what was true and good and wonderful in your life.
- Did you know that the Aramaic word (the language that Jesus spoke) for ‘forgive’ is literally ‘to untie’. Sometimes it is necessary to ‘untie’ yourself from people or situations that have harmed you. You need to remove the negativity and become more positive about the future of your life.
- Feel sorry for those that have harmed you. They will have their own Karma to deal with. Instead of hating them, feel pity for them, if for no other reason than they are not evolved or enlightened enough to be any different than they are.
- Don’t let others have the power to change who you are. Only by allowing them to change you, your ethics or your personality can they still have power over you.
- Finally, ‘forgiving’ does not mean ‘giving in’. Do what you believe is right. You may need to see something through before you can truly move on. Just make sure that you do it with grace and dignity and stick to only the facts as you know them to be.
Kathryn
www.kathrynsmith.com